I'm coming into an interesting time in my life. For so very long I was lost, completely wrapped up in my sin - I was drowning in the darkness I'd walked into. I never intended to get lost, indeed I didn't really understand how lost I was. But by God's gracious sacrifice I've been saved. He's pulled me out of my sin, wiped my face clean and is leading me. It's been nearly a year, truthfully I'm just days shy of that fateful night's anniversary. The most terrifying night of my life was, as I look back on it, one of the most beautiful and meaningful moments of my life. Though I didn't realize it at the time, though I thought I was going to die in my heart ache, I now see God's loving hand amidst my tears. It has been quite the year, full of trial, times of heart ache and times of overwhelming joy, but more than that this has been a time of growth, of deliverance, a time in which God has blessed me with the understanding I am not responsible for any of the good in my life. It is all Him. I got myself into quite a mess, I pulled people down with me, and now God holds my hand as He leads me out.
No, deliverance hasn't been "fun" by any stretch of the imagination. That old phrase, "you reap what you sow," is more true than I ever could have imagined. But in the midst of my trials, in the midst of my failures, my Savior has been there calling me to Him. My sin sent Him to the cross, and still He loves me. He sees every aspect of my life, He sees the deceitfulness that is buried deep within my heart, He sees my fears and my distrust, and still He calls me to be reconciled to My Father. My God has seen me, and loves me so very much that He is willing to transform my heart (and truthfully I think it has very much more to do with seeing His glory displayed in the hearts of those He has called). Indeed when one submits themselves to Christ they become a new creature, the phrase born again has never meant so much to me as it does these days. Nothing I have done in my life warrants such loving grace, yet He willingly and abundantly gives it.
I'm entering a new phase in my life, I finally see the end of some trials that I imagined would overwhelm me, and with this new phase comes a new set of trials. And these trials are meant for my good, to help me, and though I may cry out to Him and wonder why at times, I see the cross and know why. Each new phase, each new trial is an opportunity for me to grow in my faith in My Father's love. Each new situation brings me an opportunity to see Him glorified. Each trial, each frightening moment is a blessed chance to trust Him and abide in the peace that He has promised to give those who will follow Him. And each victory is a moment to celebrate His glory.
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It has been a year for me too! A year ago in March the Good Shepherd found his lost and straying sheep and brought me back. The events and changes in my heart and life have been all Him, all Him.
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