Monday, February 28, 2005


Somtimes it feels as if I'm the only one who is supposed to have any patience. Sometimes, most of the time actually, it feels like the men in my life get away with anything they want b/c they are impatient. That's their hangup, one of their many problems that I shouldn't ever expect to get better. Why should a father have to take care of his daughter for an hour a day? I guess he shouldn't have to, not if it's going to interfere with him playing cards with his dad. It's crap. I'm so frustrated. There is so much going on, good night.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Refugees, statistics, and dreams

I'm currently rereading Angelina Jolie's "Notes from my travels" as well as online journels from the UNHCR. Reading the stories of refugees from around the world breaks my heart, and at the same time inspires me. It amazes me at the stregth of the human spirit, what people are able to endure and still remain hopeful and thankful. These people are more alive than most anyone I know, they have next to nothing and are thankful. I eat more for breakfast than they get to eat in an entire day, probably more than they get in two days, and they are grateful. I can't count the times I've gone into my cabinates and gotten frustrated because "there isn't anything to eat" but it's full of canned foods. Sometimes I really disgust myself.

Reading these accounts of their lives also reviels the horrid things people will do to each other. I just read about a musem in Cambodia that has photos that Pol Pot and his men took while torturing captives. The things they did horrify me, especially what they did to babies. It makes me physically ill just thinking about it. I don't want to think about it, yet at the same time I don't want to forget. I don't want to be able to forget b/c if I have to remember I'll be more likely to help. I want to learn, I believe that is the first step. How can I help if I don't understand?

Proverbs 21:13
If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor,
he too will cry out and not be answered.