I spent the vast majority of my quiet time this morning in Psalm 119, and singing How Great Thou Art (which by the way is probably one of my favorite songs at this point).
I struggle sometimes with seeking, relying upon, and following what God has told me. It seems the flesh is a little more difficult to overcome than I had hoped. But God is gracious, and patient, and is moving in me. I'm sure these struggles are things that many, if not most, Christians struggle with but sometimes I feel as if I'm the only one.
It just kills me when I know I'm off track, I can feel the difference in my spirit and see the difference in my actions and speech. I imagine it is probably apparent to others as well. And that just drives me crazy. But still my pride gets in the way and at times it takes a couple days for me to get to the point where I can't stand the distance between my Father and I, that I'm willing and able to fall upon my face and cry out to Him for His forgiveness. And thankfully He has always been there, waiting for me to stop running.
And so I was thinking about these things this past week or so, and He has been gratiously and tenderly dealing with my heart on somethings. What's the point? What does this all have to do with the Psalms? Well, it seems that is where I'm finding things that greatly express the desires of my heart, so I thought I'd share them with you.
I have refrained my feet from every evil way, that I might keep thy word. (Psalm 119:101)
Oh how I long for this to be true! By God's grace one day...
Order my steps in thy word: and let not any iniquity have dominion over me. (Psalm 119:133)
Trouble and anguish have taken hold on me: yet thy commandments are my delights.(Psalm 119:143)
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10)